I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
