You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
