Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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