She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
