I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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