So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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