bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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