We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
His nipple licking is glorious
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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