idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
