Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
dude. I can hear the air.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
