Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
