it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
