someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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