wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
