dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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