my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
