Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
