At least make sure they are 18
Why
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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