Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
