You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
