i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
