so explain again why im purple
no
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
