So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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