Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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