My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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