He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
