All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
