I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm getting married
To pizza
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
