The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
