What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
