Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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