first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
She said her name was "party"
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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