Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
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