? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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