How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
