So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
