I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
