Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
