My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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