New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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