so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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