I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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