I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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