my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
