When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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