You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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