I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
