I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
