He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Terrible idea I love it
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
