wakey wakey hands off snakey
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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