I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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