Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
