she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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