one two three fourrrrnication!
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
