he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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